If you have tried regular dating sites and not had much success, you might be tempted to give an Adult Dating website a go, just to see if the experience is any better. Well experimentation is great, but is it possible to find love, or will your foray into the sleazy world of Adult Dating be just an endless selection of dodgy emails and photos?
Adult Dating sites have a reputation for being full of mostly men looking for a short-term fling with no strings attached. On the whole, this is probably a pretty accurate analysis of the scene and it would be fair to say that if you have a healthy interest in all things carnal, you can expect to join an Adult Dating site and be immediately contacted by dozens of like-minded individuals.
But I want more than a tumble under the duvet!
Of course you do! Thankfully, not everyone on an Adult Dating site wants to exchange bodily fluids as opposed to first names. If you are a little more discerning in your experimentation, you will be able to find people who want something more meaningful than a game of “hide the sausage”.
Actually, that sounds fun, but you’re right, I want something more meaningful…
If you are sure you want a date that actually involves conversation, make sure you indicate this in your profile. There is not point in acting surprised when you are inundated with invitations to Swingers Parties and cosy threesomes if you state that your hobbies are adult DVDs and fetish clubs.
Instead, try mentioning that although you enjoy some horizontal salsa within a meaningful relationship (one lasting longer than an hour), you would prefer not to jump into bed/hot tub/back seat of car with the first guy who offers.
But surely nobody will contact me now!
This might sound like a backwards approach on a sex site, but you would be surprised just how successful it can be. Most men enjoy the thrill of the chase, so if you play harder to get than 99% of the other women on there, you will be instantly be perceived as more attractive.
Everyone else has a rude picture, so what shall I do?
If you post a picture of yourself up close and very personal, you may as well not write anything at all in your profile as nobody will bother reading it. Why would they? You have told them all they need to know in the picture!
Try and avoid being so obvious. Make sure your picture is tasteful. It doesn’t necessarily need to be PG rated, but at least make sure it is “artistic” as opposed to “Readers Wives”. It is also a good idea to make sure it does not show your face. Just remember, your boss might be a member of the site, so imagine how embarrassing it could be at the next staff meeting!
OK, I have done everything you suggested and now I have loads of messages in my in-box!
The key word here is discerning! Ignore all those who have nothing to say other than what they want to do to you as soon as you are free. Also ignore the ones who don’t even bother with the romantic chit-chat and just attach a rude picture.
Only bother with those who actually say something interesting and non sexual. At least they are making an effort to relate to you as a person instead of a convenient orifice.
Once you have a few hopefuls, engage them in chat and see where it takes you. If they are willing to have a proper conversation with you and are happy to take it slowly, try meeting them for a date to decide if the chemistry is there.
If it is, then it could be the start of something beautiful. And if it all goes well, just think how entertaining it will be when your future kids ask, “How did you and dad meet?”